The 13th Law from The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene is:

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Law 13: When Asking for Help, Appeal to People’s Self-Interest, Never to Their Mercy or Gratitude

Core Idea

When you need help, don’t rely on the kindness, mercy, or sense of loyalty of others. Instead, show them how helping you will benefit them. People are generally driven by self-interest more than altruism.

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Detailed Explanation

Human Nature is Self-Centered
Most people naturally think in terms of “What’s in it for me?”
Appeals to gratitude or past kindness are weak motivators because people forget favors quickly.
Don’t Remind Them of the Past — Show Them the Future
Instead of saying, “You owe me this because I helped you before,”
say, “If you help me, here’s what you’ll gain.”
A forward-looking appeal is far more persuasive.
Frame Your Request Around Their Goals
Understand the other person’s ambitions, needs, or problems.
Present your request as a way for them to achieve what they already want.
The Psychology Behind It
People may resent feeling obligated out of mercy or gratitude.
Self-interest creates genuine enthusiasm to assist you.
Example from History
During the Renaissance, politicians often secured allies not by reminding them of loyalty or friendship, but by offering trade advantages, power, or influence in return.
This approach builds stronger, more sustainable alliances.
What to Avoid
Begging or guilt-tripping — it makes you look weak and can annoy the other person.
Assuming someone will help just because of a past relationship or favor.

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Practical Application

Business → When pitching an idea, focus on how it will increase profits, efficiency, or status for the other party.
Personal Life → If you need a friend’s help, link it to something they also enjoy or benefit from.
Negotiations → Frame offers as win-win situations where their gain is clear and measurable.

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In short:

Don’t appeal to people’s kindness — appeal to their ambition. Show them that helping you is the smartest move for themselves.

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